Friday, March 4, 2011

The Background

Life is a simple chaotic mess, if you would like to see it as such it is only a point A to point B adventure you start and you end there is no other way to it. What makes it your adventure is what you do in the meantime, your upbringings can shape who you may be but everyone is unique.
     That is all well in good but its just a digression like everything seems to be lately. You see i have a problem nothing big and it is particularly common, you may suffer just the same as myself, this issue i am sure everyone suffers every now and then. My issue is a lack of focus and motivation, now i did not always suffer from this and i do not have ADHD no it has started near the end of high school like so many others. I do not find myself special in this predicament everyone has this problem the difference is i like to try new things and though i may not have a huge problem with this lack of focus it definitely is effecting my life at the moment.
     As a kid i was interested in everything i played many video games and i enjoyed every second of it even beating the same game multitudes of times i tried new things and i did great in school i was a straight A student until i hit Sophomore year in high school. Near the end of high school i stopped caring and my grades suffered i had plans for some big college and i dropped them, i am currently going to community college and still having problems focusing or finishing any of my work. Even my ways of having fun have changed, i still play games but much less often, i will never beat a game twice no matter how good it was thats considering i even beat it in the first place. I will try many things, mountain climbing, riding bikes, boxing, fencing, martial arts, i loved these things and i would have fun while doing them but for some reason i have dropped them all i have no motivation to do them anymore.
     I should add a little background about myself. I am an average guy 20 years old 5' 11" not too skinny not extremely healthy but not that bad. I have a normal middle class family i am catholic but not extremely religious i go to church on Sunday mostly for the parents. i am a bit of an introvert with a little pessimism i don't have many friends but the ones i do have are close friends. I enjoy playing video games, FPS, RPG, action adventure i have particular tastes and that makes me picky when i do play games I also enjoy MTG and anime though the last not as much as before so i am pretty much a nerd though i do not show it in looks. Now for my problems, i am a bit paranoid i use to be a big problem interfering with my sleep and being anywhere out but i am doing much better lately this problem has made me a bit of a prepper, medically i suffer from tachycardia which plays into this whole project. I can go on and on but i am sure you are bored already.
     The purpose of this project stemmed from the curiosity of Adderall and other types of ADHD medication i thought it amazing that a pill could keep you focused on something and thought that it would be amazing in helping me do what i have always wanted to, but i realized that it not only was iligel without medication but though i was sure i could get past that i suffered from a heart arrhythmia problem that i was sure would prevent me from taking Adderall without increasing my chances of dieing from it. This lead me to look for other cognitive enhancement medications that would aid in focus, and i found many, the problem was it felt like i was looking at bad infomercials and shady promises nothing seemed legit. This did not mean i would not at least attempt these things i was ready to try anything and willing to be the lab rat until i found something that worked. Than i began to think that others may be interested in the effects of these so called cognitive enhancers as well and that all lead me here.
    * I will be taking a different Cognitive medicine vitamin whatever it may be for a whole week, i will then post everyday a sort of journal of the events of the day and any noticeable changes that i encounter. I do nothing all day the most i do in a week is two days of college classes, so to test the effects further i will be picking up so hobbies or activities to see if i can get through them, i will try to learn a foreign language and will try to learn to deal craps, both of these are things i need later in life so this will help to motivate me to do them. this project will start on March 14 2011 I will try to give as much information on what i am taking and how much as well as my feeling and if anyone notices and changes in my attitude. Until then i am open to questions as well as suggestions to anything i should be trying, i like to be very open so i like to hear opinions and i will try to answer any questions about anything you would like to hear about . Thank you for your time.
     To Long?= *

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